A Closer Look … Baseball, meet Covid

with Anthony Newcombe

Topic: PLAY BALL!! (just don’t spit or argue…and get Covid tested often!!)

Issue: Can baseball players really refrain from spitting?! Or, arguing? Or …

I guess it’s a valiant effort to think we can “field” a troupe of MLB players and count on them to refrain from spitting before, during, and after a game. However, do you think it’s perhaps a bit far-fetched we can achieve such a lofty goal?

I mean, these guys (I do know a little bit about them) have been “takin’ a dip,” “puttin’ in a chaw,” and otherwise hockin’ loogies since practically tee ball. In fact, I could tell you some stories about guys who filled up 2-liter soda bottles with the “after-sauce” of Apple Jack, Skoal, Copenhagen, or … well, take your pick, big boy.

The point is that a good argument can be made that spitting is just as (if not more) linked to baseball than both apple pie and hot dogs are to the American culture. Baseball players spit … period. Even the ones who don’t chew tobacco. It’s part of the game folks.

To add insult to injury, players will also be commanded to “not argue” with the field umpires and be available for plenty of Covid testing. Baseball and testing?! C’mon, man! Did you see what happened during the (steroid era) 90s and early 2000s? Again, testing and baseball haven’t mixed too well in the past. Let’s just leave that argument for a different day.

Okay, so even if we can clear the above hurdles, we must also understand that, in lieu of screaming and adoring fans, the stands will be filled with … cardboard cutouts of fans. Yes, I said it, cardboard! If ever there was a reason to spit on something, this may be it.

In this technological age, couldn’t we have come up with something more life like? How about holograms that are programmed to behave like regular fans? Or how about cartoons of fans who drink gallons of beer, scream obscenities at the top of their lungs, and hurl batteries (and other unmentionables) onto the field – without provocation? Sounds kind of fun, huh?

Or, how about this? How about making the holograms, well, (fake) spit! That way, the players will feel more at home for the opener … wait a second, did the rules committee just tell baseballers that they can’t adjust their, uh, “pant legs” either? What is this world coming to?!!

What do YOU think?

-A.N.

Seriously though, stay safe my readers!

10th year anniversary re-release of book review

of Last Words, by the masterful, late comic genius, George Carlin

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Last Words – by George Carlin (with Tony Hendra), 297 pps., 2009

What I liked about this book

Okay, full disclosure first. I am a life-long fan of this man. Although I never had the opportunity to see him LIVE, I did see many of the HBO specials and listened to many albums from childhood into adulthood. It is no wonder that he and comedians like Richard Pryor were “joined at the hip” during their first days of comedy.

Check out A.N.’s Peep Page!!

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We Were Eight Years in Power

– narrated (audio book) by Ta-Nehisi Coates

publisher: Penguin Random House (audiobook version, 2018)

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What I learned from this book

Coates offers to us a deep understanding of what it is like to be living as an American through the eyes of a much different viewpoint than many are accustomed to hearing – that of the African-American male . It is an eye-opening discourse on the “flip” side of the American dream and its historical remembrances – as well as many other accounts of the events that took place in this country over the past 400+ years. It really offers a brand new angle for the American public in how we might finally want to address both the answers (and new questions going forward) concerning our legacy.

written by Michelle Obama (pub. 2018), 415 pp.

Becoming Michelle Obama

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What I learned from this book

Actually, I was shocked at how much of the book was apolitical. I thought going in it would be much more concentrated on White House events, but, much to my relief, there were many more life experiences in the overall mix. My expectations were for 80% politics and 20% personal. In fact, it was more like 90% personal! It is much less a book about living in America’s equivalent of a “Royal Palace,” and much more about one woman’s “journey in its totality.” It is about identity, the struggle, self-doubts and the dream. It is about perseverance. It is also about letting go when you need to let go. But, most of all, it is about family, good friends and, most importantly, always standing firmly alongside the ones you love the most – warts and all!!

What I liked about this book

I’ve read hundreds (if not thousands) of books in my lifetime. However, rarely have I run across an autobiography that is this honest and forthright. Seriously, one would think that autobiographies are meant to be the most candid, but, for the most part, most fall dreadfully short of this goal. I know it sounds cliché, but Michelle Obama really knows how to “put the reader in her shoes.” She understands how to make the reader feel the way she felt in a specific moment, to hurt in her personal moments of real pain, and to feel joy when she was uplifted in one of her finer moments. She is a real person, a “one-of-a-kind” – and that is a rare find! (And I’m a poet and didn’t know it!)